Wednesday, October 24, 2012
I suddenly feel this urge to do things I haven't been doing in this training cycle.
I am filled with doubt about my goal and my ability to accomplish it.
I am wondering if I really did put in enough miles.
I have butterflies just thinking about the race on Saturday.
This is just silly, right? I decided to write my goal on my hand today and will stare at this number for the rest of the week. I will BELIEVE that I can do this. I will BELIEVE in my training. I've got my 3 goals and I need to just settle my mind and trust.
Today will be my last real work out - doing the same track work out as last week. Thursday is a rest day, Friday I will do a shake things loose: 1 mile walk, 1 mile easy and 4 100s at 5k pace to get those legs ready to run.
We were in Newport and Lincoln City last week and I had the opportunity to run 6 beautiful miles across the Newport bridge and along the waterfront.
I don't love heights. There were moments as I ran over this bridge that I set my sights on the horizon because I had that nervous feeling in my stomach. Oh, and there are these weird metal squares that look like trap doors that open. I jumped over those like a six year old avoids cracks in the sidewalk. The view at the crest made it all worth it. I loved being able to stop and take a few photos and enjoy the view. Something you just can't do when driving over the bridge. I loved the feeling after crossing the bridge of exhilaration of doing something that didn't feel 'comfortable' but seeing that the senseless worry - was in fact senseless. Our pastor said a great line this week, "90% of the things you worry about never happen." We waste so much time being anxious and worrying when we need to set our minds on the positive. Which, ironically, is exactly what I need to do for this weekend. Stop worrying that "I can't" and set my mind on achieving my goals.
My gratitude list for today;
* My family. My girls had a blast last night dancing to that PSY song, "Gangnam Style" and I got the funniest video. It makes my heart SING listening to their little laughs and seeing them be funny and silly together. Sometimes I still have to pinch myself that I have two healthy girls - sisters. I am the luckiest mama in the world. Plus, I have an amazing husband who loves us so much. He really is a great dad.
*My friends.I am blessed to have some very special people in my life that love me for me. In all my craziness, they love me.
*My faith... Being able to pray and let go of any and all worries that come across my mind.
*A mostly healthy body (my hamstring has been bothering me some, but that just seems to ever present) that can run.
* Someone who can watch my girls that I love on Saturday morning so that I can go run a race.
Starting to plan for the races I want to do next year.. Eugene Half, Sonoma to Napa Half, Vancouver, Hood to Coast, Nike Women's Half...what's races are you hoping to do next year?
And why am I planning the next race already?